Friday, 14 August 2009


You're in your garden, and you say to yourself, "Wow, here I am just wafting about being nearly as lovely and pretty as a princess in a fairy tale!" And then you get bitten on the leg. And it swells up within minutes to a size most fabulous. We want a photo and the full story, please. 

Amanda Hill forwarded the first entry. Which you will have to admit sets a pretty high standard. She says, "This is a picture of the reaction I had to a blackfly bite I sustained on my forearm in May (I did wonder at the time why I bothered taking the photo - now I know!). The blackflies here are a bit more vicious than the ones you get in Emsworth and as a new immigrant I haven't built up any resistance to whatever it is the little blighters inject. My arm looked like Popeye's for about a week. Luckily blackflies are only with us for three weeks or so in late spring. Otherwise I'd be back on the plane to England in a jiffy."

Helen the patient gardener sent us this, pointing out "we must remember that medical problems can be mental as well as physical and mine are definately mental, oh and financial!!".

6th Sept - FINAL UPDATE 

Mr James A-S sent this, "This is my thumb. Although the injury is not exactly visible to the naked eye I wish to enter it into the garden injuries section. This weekend that same thumb was stung at least twice by a nettle and was also hit by a falling brick. Will that do or do I have to get the strimmer out?".

This seems very weedy to me. What does anyone else think?

Finally, a proper injury from Anna at Green Tapestry. She writes, "Here is my entry for the best garden related injury - a bite from some evil creature last weekend - I felt it but did not get a close look at the offender. I did sustain a nastier injury when I fell out of our front door into the porch a couple of days before the bite. I had been out late at night snail hunting and dropped my torch as I came in. I turned round and bent down to retrieve it but toppled over as I did so through the front door into the porch. I badly bruised and scraped both knees but was too busy groaning and applying a packet of frozen peas to aforesaid injuries to take a photo."


  1. Damn! My recent wasp sting beats that into a cocked hat, but did I take a photo? No.

    Do 2 independent witnesses count instead? I've got NAH and Esther lined up to tell you how the redness extended from my wrist to my elbow and how the antihistimines sent me doolally.

  2. I had a wasp sting too - the bloody thing got between me and a Jack and Coke. I have prescription antihistamines now (woo-ooo-ooo), so no sleepiness. Lots of doolallyness, but then that's par for the course.

  3. And that sounds like a Victoria Wasp sandwich to me

  4. I have a small scar on my stomach from being stabbed by a cardoon I was trying to pull up three years ago. If only I could have foreseen that one day the bloody and bruised injury could have put me in with the chance of winning a category at Emsworth Show, I'd have whipped the old Canon (camera rather than clergyman) out.

    The small scar is not now impressive. Certainly not impressive enough to make up for scaring anyone with a photograph of my stomach.

  5. Hmm, not sure how to beat that. Is it healthy that I've just contemplated going outside and hacking off my arm? And would 'garden-show induced competitiveness' count as a garden related injury? I shall not act until I'm clearer on the rules.

    I could sit on the front step making the sort of noises a juicy squash plant makes and wait for the snails to come at me.

    Or perhaps I'll just try to find a small vegetable

  6. I think the show committee needs to install a couple of new categories PDQ:

    Best fruit or veg impression (visual)

    Best fruit or veg impression (sound)

    I demand to hear your juicy squash plant noise immediately Frugilegus!

  7. Hmmm I think getting the strimmer out is a bit drastic James, maybe Ms Sock can do the deed in a less painful way!

  8. When I dropped a brick on my little finger the nail went an interesting black colour and remained so for several months - J A-S's injury, although no doubt serious, is minor in comparison ;-)

  9. Exactly, Some Beans, 'minor', exactly.