AND FINALLY.... FLORAL ACHIEVEMENT 3: THE MINIATURE GARDEN

All those who know the committee members know their utmost respect for that finest pinnacle of that Matterhorn which is floral art.... The Making of a Miniature Garden. 

This year the committee have decided to set a themed miniature garden, under the title, "The Garden I Would Have Claimed For Under Expenses Had I Been Myself A Member of Parliament". Run wild, my dear friends and colleagues, run wild! And bonne chance!

Jane Owen has sent this rather wonderful image with the following curatorial comment: "The tomato represents the essence of empire, and as part of this abstract miniature garden or tablescape, symbolises the profound tension between formality and fruitiness." Fruity indeed, young lady. 

6th Sept Final update

First, an entry from VP (pictured below), who writes: "After days of tough negotiations, I've finally got my show garden sponsors in place - the astroturf people who gave away free samples outside Chelsea, Kinder Egg and my earring collection - to bring you the ultimate wildlife garden. As you can see lots of lovely creatures from across all five continents are all perfectly at home in the variety of habitats on offer to them."

And at last, a competitor who takes this truly covetable category seriously. Frugilegus writes:
"I was keen to take a traditional approach when designing this garden - reflecting both the central place of the miniature garden category in the gardening show tradition, and the customs and values upheld over centuries by our honourable members of parliament. As per tradition, the garden is contained in a standard seed-tray, and features a pond made from a recycled food-container. A lawn of moss also draws on decades of miniature garden ritual - and in this case reflects the modern lifestyle focus on "blurring the lines between indoors and outdoors", as it is an accurate of the condition of my own 2 square metres of lawn. To the right is a miniature zen garden, featuring Strawbini among the rocks. These were actually planted three months ago and should be a couple of feet tall and fruiting now, but alas, this parliamentary garden is characterised by stunted growth. Lastly, a pond clearly required a duck, and a duck clearly needs a duck-house.

I'm sure it's obvious from the image that this garden this took a craftsperson many hours of work, and the finest materials, to construct, and that it is only fair this is reflected in my claim form."

Frugilegus, we salute you. You truly are Right Honorable. And here is Frugilegus's masterwork: